Splitting America
How Politicians, Super PACs and the News Media Mirror High Conflict Divorce
Something nasty is happening in American politics. You'd have to be in hibernation to be unaware of the bullying, incivility, and disrespect going on. Splitting America is a warning to voters and politicians that current poliarizations risks long-term harm to our nation. This book compares the same five traits of high-conflict divorces to today’s politics. It generally includes:
• Personal Attacks (calling the other person crazy, stupid, immoral or evil)
• Crisis Emotions (which trigger fear and hatred of each other)
• All-or-Nothing Solutions (which call for the elimination or exclusion of the “other”)
• Narcissistic Behavior (acting superior and not caring about anyone else)
• Negative Advocates (constantly recruiting others to join in this hostility)
We are well-acquainted with this pattern in high-conflict divorces, and it’s not good. This behavior is called “high-conflict” because it increases the conflict, rather than reducing or resolving it. Worst of all, it’s contagious—it spreads when people are exposed to it, like a virus.
We are now concerned that this behavior is spreading into politics at all levels.
Political leaders appear to be adopting and escalating high-conflict behavior, and perhaps, even leading it. Millionaires and billionaires are funding expensive ads as key elements in high-conflict election campaigns. And, the news promotes high-conflict behavior in every broadcast – to children as well as to adults – by relentlessly showing, and thereby teaching, the most dramatic bad behavior of the day.
Even worse, politicians, donors to Super PACs and the news media don’t seem to realize how destructive and self-destructive this escalation of high-conflict behavior can be. Splitting America warns them and the rest of the nation about the dead-end nature of this unrestrained behavior that knows no limits.
We have seen splitting destroy too many families, and we don’t want to see it destroy the American family. We want to avoid a high-conflict political divorce. In approaching these problems, it’s not about pointing fingers and deciding who is more at fault. It’s about everyone taking responsibility for his or her own behavior, and managing collaborative relationships, even when we disagree.
Analyze your favorite leaders before you vote with the High-Conflict Politician Score Card included in the book and decide for yourself if they would be a good leader or not.
Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "High Conflict Personality" theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high-conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training on this subject to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners’ association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists and others. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, Australia, France and Sweden.
As an attorney, Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law for six years and he is on the part-time faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College.
