BIFF
Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
We live in an age of rapid change and instant communication. We also live in a Culture of Blame and Disrespect, creating a need to manage our responses to high-conflict people. A BIFF Response can be applied in any communication anywhere – online, social media, in a letter or even in person. It can be used at work, earning you respect and success. It can help you get along with difficult family members, friends, neighbors and others anywhere in your life.
BIFF was designed to protect you and your reputation by responding quickly and civilly to people who treat you rudely, while being reasonable in return.
BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. A BIFF response is easy to remember, but hard to do. It takes practice! This little book gives over 20 examples of BIFF responses for all areas of life—plus additional tips to help you deal with high-conflict people anywhere.
This Second Edition includes a new chapter on Coaching for BIFF Responses. Anyone can use this method to help someone else with a BIFF response – by asking 10 simple questions to make it even more effective.
Another helpful tool to shift high-conflict people from blaming to problem-solving is So, What's Your Proposal: Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving, also by Bill Eddy.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq., is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, author, and president of High Conflict Institute. He developed the "high conflict personality" theory and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high-conflict personalities and personality disorders.
Bill Eddy is a lawyer, therapist, mediator, and the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California. He was The Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a Licensed Clinical Social Worker therapist with twelve years of experience. He serves on the faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law in California and is a Conjoint Associate Professor with the University of Newcastle Law School in Australia. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 30 U.S. states and 10 countries, in which he's taught his BIFF Response® and EAR Statement™ techniques for communicating in writing and in-person to hundreds of thousands. In addition to writing more than twenty books, his articles on PsychologyToday.com have more than 5 million views.
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