So Lonely
Our Desire for Community - And What Drives Us Apart
“Loneliness is one of the most important and difficult topics of our time, and this book is a beautiful meditation on it, taking us from The Moomins to the far right. Inspiring and original.”—Johann Hari, New York Times-bestelling author of Lost Connections and Stolen Focus
A cerebral, intricate study of loneliness from an acclaimed Scandinavian writer.
Praise for Hilde Øtsby:
"Østby's thoroughly researched offering is a joy to read. . . Curiosity seekers will be enlightened."—Publishers Weekly on The Key to Creativity
"An accessible book, which makes it all the more joyful."—NYLON on Adventures in Memory
Far beyond a personal difficulty, loneliness has grown into a problem that plagues whole societies. Many countries, including the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom, have gone as far to declare a loneliness epidemic. Loneliness can lead to depression and anxiety, and can even increase your chance of death by 26%. But what defines loneliness, and is it true that we are lonelier now than we have ever been?
As COVID-19 forced entire populations into isolation in 2020, author Hilde Østby set out to investigate loneliness in all its forms. To frame this huge, multidisciplinary undertaking, she turned to the Moomin novels by revered Norwegian children’s author Tove Jansson. Under the watchful eye of such Jansson creations as the tragically alienated Groke, this fascinating book recounts Østby’s own struggles with the condition and her many conversations with researchers, artists, and journalists who have looked closely at the myriad faces of loneliness and the ways it can be overcome.
Again and again, she returns to the nightmarish events of the 2011 Utøya terrorist attacks, a collective trauma for Norwegian society that Østby views as permeated with loneliness, in both its causes and effects. This is a deeply personal and yet universally relevant book about the costs to all when some are pushed out of society. But it is also a book about the incredible capabilities of human beings—how resilient we are, and how we survive and find ourselves through our relationships with others.
Hilde Østby is the author of The Key to Creativity, My Belly, and the co-author of Adventures in Memory, which was translated into twenty-one languages. She has worked as a literary critic for Norway's biggest newspaper and published fiction to critical acclaim. She has a master's degree in the history of ideas and lives in Oslo, Norway.
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